Words that Inspire

We have heard a popular saying: “Show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are.”. This is because “ Birds of the same feather flock together”. We are always drawn to situations and environments that comfort us. We are comforted by things that are like us or appeal to who we are or who we want to be. For example, someone who is outgoing is most likely to live in an environment that is bustling and filled with people, because that is similar to who they are. Essentially, like calls to like – you attract who you are.

Just as we are drawn to environments that appeal to who we are, we are also drawn to people who are just like us or who make us feel comfortable. Not only are we drawn to people, people are drawn to us. We unconsciously telegraph a message every time we are out in public. The message or impression people get is usually based on how we act, speak, dress and even carry ourselves. If you are someone who carries tales or betrays others, 9 times out of 10, the people around you or are drawn to you, have similar traits perhaps to varying degrees, but similar traits nonetheless.

Friends are your mirror

The people you hang around shows who and what you are comfortable with. This is illustrated in so many examples in the Bible, from Abraham to the apostles. Christ surrounded himself with people who would help forward his ministry and who, for the most part, believed or were capable of believing what he did. Imagine if all the disciples were exactly like Judas Iscariot. I don’t think many people would have been drawn to Jesus. He probably wouldn’t have had a reputation as a caring and kind person because people would not be drawn to those around him.

(1 Cor 15: 33) tells us that “Bad company corrupts good character”.

It doesn’t necessarily say that it corrupts the person, which is possible. What it tarnishes is what people think of you and how they view you as a person. If I look at those around you, can I recognize you? Our character is kind of like a resume. It shows people who view us the kind of person we are. If everyone around you has questionable character then it is easy to infer that your character is questionable as well.

Famous Friends: Daniel and Caleb

Daniel’s Friends

An example of a set of great friends is Daniel and his friends. In the story of the fiery furnace, seen in (Daniel 3:1-end), even though Daniel was not there, it is clear that they believed God just like Daniel did. Regardless of whether they were together or separate, they would not compromise their relationship and belief in God for any reason. What a great example of ‘you attract who you are’. Essentially, Daniel attracted people who were just like him. If you look at how Daniel lived his life, in total submission to God, and you look at the way his friends lived, it is clear to see that they are a reflection of each other. 

Caleb and Joshua

Another example in the bible, good friends who mirrored each other, are Caleb and Joshua. When others doubted God, these two friends, at the risk of being stoned to death, were the only ones who trusted in him and in his might (Numbers 14:1-10). Years later, when Joshua had taken over from Moses, Caleb is still in his life, fighting the fight with him, and at the end of it all, he got his reward – the chance to receive his inheritance first and youth and strength even in his 80’s (Joshua 14:6-15).

RESULTS/CONSEQUENCES OF KEEPING BAD FRIENDS

Amnon

Stories about bad company, and what they can do, and how they can influence you negatively abounds in the bible. A good example is Amnon, David’s son. If there is a list of horrible friends, Amnon’s friends need to be at the top of it. Do you know anyone, who advises their friend to sleep with his own sister? (2 Samuel 13:1-22). With the prodding of his friend, Amnon committed an act that cost David two of his sons and a precious daughter. It made Absalom murder Amnon in anger and sparked a rebellion that cost Absalom his life, while Tamar chose to be a recluse for the rest of her life. (2 Samuel 13: 23-37; 2 Samuel 14 to 2 Samuel 18). 

The first time I read Amnon’s story, I felt sick to my stomach and I wished evil things for his friend. Upon further reflection, I realized that his friend, tells me more about Amnon as a person. It is a great example of ‘you attract who you are’. Who on earth keeps a friend that is capable of boldly suggesting such evil? 

Be Careful

The people around you are a reflection of who you are. The people you surround yourself with should be those who complement a view, a lifestyle, a belief or your personality. You attract and maintain friendships that mirror you. It might not be something we do consciously, but that is how it is. So, as we go out there and form relationships, we should be careful. You run the risk of being labeled with someone else’s behavior, because “birds of the same feather flock together”. Screen acquaintances and friends, and if you find yourself with someone who does not fully represent you, it is time to be introspective and honestly assess yourself, because “Like calls to Like. You attract who you are.”