Book Review: Who are you and what have you done with my tween?

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This is a book review for ‘Who are you and what have you done with my tween?’ by Amanda Craig. We all know that the teenage years are often filled with drama and angst, especially from the point of view of parents. Teenagers are expected to be rebellious and have mood swings, and oftentimes, parents are left at a loss as to how to handle teenagers. It would be great to have a guide that helps parets start preparing before their children are teenagers. Enter ‘who are you and what have you done with my tween?’.  

 

Tumultuous Teenage Years

Over the years, I have come to realize that for a lot of other people, being a teenager is different. Teenage years are accompanied by a desire to experience new things, mood swings, and hormonal changes they do not understand. So, how do parents and loved ones stay ahead of the curve, and navigate these years with their teens? This is where ‘‘Who are you and what have you done with my tween?’ comes in.

Feedback Loop

The book is a guide of sorts that delves into the ‘why’ of the changes that happen in the teenage years. The book explores the neuroscience of the changing teenage brain, hormonal changes, and the lack of communication skills that are the hallmark of the teenage years. It also outlines things parents can start to do before their kids get to their teenage years. One such thing is learning the feedback loop. The feedback loop is what happens when teenagers and parents engage in communication solely based on an emotional response to each other. Essentially, parents need to learn to start engaging with teenagers in a level-headed and logical manner instead of lashing out emotionally.

 

Recommend or Not

The entire book is essentially a ‘how to prepare for your teenager’s teen years’ guide for parents. It delves into some self-work that parents need to do, as well as some things that need to be understood. The most interesting thing about this book is that it has information that is practical and useful for people who do not yet have kids. I certainly learned a lot from it, especially the sections about learning from our past. While it lightly mentions the importance of an individual’s faith during this period, it is not a ‘faith’ heavy book. I truly enjoyed reading it and I certainly recommend it, to parents and even single people who hope to have kids someday.

You can find my video review here and see other book reviews here.

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